Winter is here...

Winter has officially entered my life. I've seen glimpses of it here and there over the past month or so, but today I've decided that it's here to stay for awhile. I made this decision while being slapped in the face by the cold Chicago wind (something I've heard plenty about, but had yet to experience for myself). That cold wind has the power to change more than just my facial expression. It gives me an extra boost of energy and forces me to get to my destination quicker. It almost gets the best of me until I realize that there are worse situations to be in. Walking amongst freezing cold wind is a piece of cake (as long as I don't have too far to go). Once you're hit, though, there's no turning back. You have to face the wind much like we face life; step by step. If you can force yourself to take one step after another, eventually you will reach your goal. Even if you have to cringe as the cold wind smacks you in the face. 


Oh, if you haven't realized, I'm back in Chicago for the time being. My time spent at home was enjoyed and appreciated, like always. The coziness of the holidays made it a little more difficult to escape my place of comfort this time. But since my plans don't include dropping out of college to live with my parents forever, I decided it was time to return to my life in the city. My return was different than my usual combination of car and train. I was lucky enough to be chauffeured by an old friend of mine (or let's say "high school sweetheart" to be a little less dull) that I have been in touch with over the past couple of months. I don't think I've ever talked or laughed so much as I did during those 5 1/2 hours (we hit traffic in Milwaukee). But, after nearly 4 years with little contact, it was inevitable that we would have plenty to discuss. It didn't take long to slip back into the comfort of the past and we chatted like old times all the way to my doorstep. Then it was time for me to play tour guide as we hit my favorite restaurant for dinner and ventured around the city to see the Christmas lights (which, for some reason, was even more fun in the rain). A step back in time is never a bad thing.


Now I'm tucked in my cozy apartment. Heat blasts out of the vent near the ceiling, creating the perfect sound to fall asleep to. Although, it doesn't completely mask the faint humming of the city noises, and I am okay with that. Tonight I will fall asleep with a smile on my face, and plan to wake up the same. 

Time has passed...

Too much time has passed. My last posting was nearly 10 days ago and I'm amazed at what can happen in that amount of time. I'm also amazed at how disconnected I feel from myself when I don't track my daily happenings and thoughts. Now I feel as though there is too much to discuss in this small space, so I will spare you the boring details and just touch on the main points. One thing that can't be overlooked is where I am right now. You guessed it; I'm spending my last day here at home before heading back to my chaotic life. It's not always chaotic for me in the city, however. In fact, it's typically far from it, and for that I am very lucky. But these last 3 weeks of the fall semester are not going to treat me as well as the first 8 weeks did, I have a feeling. I'm okay with this. I know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by. I will be confined to the "quiet" room on the 8th floor as I crank through a huge term project, 2 small speeches, a final speech, 2 art projects, and preparation for 4 final exams. Oh, and toss in wrap-up of some extra credit in there. Surprisingly, this does not make me anxious or nervous. I will take it one task at a time and just keep on crossing things off of my list. After all, that's all I can do.

Anyway, for the time being I am enjoying the simplicity of life here at home. The air is cold and stiff. Although the sun is shining, it does not give off much heat. The leaves are bare and there is a thin layer of ice covering the once flowing river to my right. Winter is here, whether we want it to be or not. I will accept the entrance of winter into my life. In return, it has given me another successful holiday that was filled with more family time than I expected to receive. It gave me cozy days with my parents and sisters next to the fire, a house full of family on Thanksgiving day, and an afternoon of football with even more family yesterday. It also gave me the new and exciting experience of "Black Friday", which was a thrill, to say the least. And much needed conversation over coffee with my big sister Shelby, something that was way overdue. It seemed as though every day brought both new and familiar faces, different kinds of excitement, and a huge amount of happiness. The kind of happiness that can only be felt here. I am amazed everytime I come home at how much my family means to me. It doesn't always take a holiday for this realization to happen, but it definitely helps. I am also amazed at how warm the mood is around the holidays. It's a warmth that is taken for granted, I will admit. But definitely shouldn't be.

Nap time with one of my nieces next to the fire...

Two familiar faces...

The level of happiness that I sit on right now is amazing. My day was decorated with so many different characteristics that all blended beautifully to create quite possibly the perfect day. This was not a typical Wednesday for me. In fact, it was far from the norm. It did start early, as usual. But by now you should know that an early start is the base for a good day in my book. With the end of the semester quickly approaching, I've found my school workload to be a little greater than usual. Don't worry though, by 8:00 this morning I had completed a major chunk of that load, and found myself more at ease after doing so. (I also was able to bake a couple dozen pumpkin cookies and sip down a pot of coffee while completing my work) Although there are still projects to be completed and speeches to prepare, they are going to be a cinch. It's all smooth sailing from here. And even if it wasn't, I would still be a happy girl. In fact, happier than usual, considering two familiar faces today came to the city today. Two of my favorite familiar faces, to be exact. My big sis, Shelby, and brother Jordan (okay, brother-in-law, but he's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother) drove into the city today and arrived around 12:00. Early tomorrow morning those lucky ducks will fly to Jamaica for some much needed vacation time. So they visited me for lunch since O'Hare Airport is less than 30 minutes from the city. My excitement was greater than it has been in a long time. I am so grateful to not only have big sisters (and brothers), but to have them as best friends also. Seeing their faces brought me to this level of happiness, and I haven't departed since. My family is almost like an addiction. This addiction, however, is one that I feel proud and lucky to possess. Each chunk of time that is spent without them leaves me craving their presence more and more. And getting that "fix" of quality time leaves me feeling refreshed. It leaves me feeling as though I can make it through the next span of time before seeing one of them again. Luckily, this next chunk of time is very short, and I am very thrilled about that. 

After their departure, I nestled back into my cave in the sky and flipped back and forth between my two favorite afternoon talk shows, Dr. Phil and Ellen. I considered a nap, but quickly decided that I would rather have an early bed time. The weather in the city tonight is fairly gloomy and there is a slight mist in the air. Nonetheless, I got the urge to blog from Starbucks. So here I am, sitting in my favorite Starbucks, sipping on a delicious cup of coffee and listening to Christmas music. My walk here was unusually joyful. I'm pretty sure a smile was plastered across my face the whole way, and those around me must have thought I was crazy. Or maybe they just thought I was happy, because I was. And I still am. 

Today's mix of baking, relaxing, productivity, Christmas music, and of course family has made for a truly beautiful day. Today has reinforced why I am here, and why I love being here. Today has reminded me that life should be completely filled with those things that make you your happiest you. And right now, I am my happiest me I've been in a long time.

I'm a thinker...

Here I am! For those of you that were wondering, I am alive and kicking, thank you for your concerns. The past five days have been lacking a certain amount of inspiration and I found myself ending each day with a blank mind. Don't worry, my mom says this is just fine. She told me to only write if I feel it. Unfortunately, this week I never felt it, leaving me with nothing to write and you with nothing to read. It's funny how much I still turn to my mom and dad for guidance, although I know that will never change. Growing up you think there's some age that dependency on your parents will end, and it's partly true. I've been working toward releasing myself from them physically over the past couple of years and I think I've succeeded for the most part. However, the emotional dependency will always be there and I am just fine with that. So when I turned to my mom, concerned about my lack of writing my blog, I knew she would be okay with it. And there's something about getting that "it's okay" that washes any worries away, no matter how big or small. 


I've been having a hard time listening to myself lately. It's so easy to give advice, but for some reason it has been extremely difficult to take my own and run with it. It's like that overweight mother who stresses the importance of eating healthy and being active to her kids. Except, not literally. I'm definitely a thinker. Sometimes I find myself exhausted from the amount of thinking I do in a day, whether it's about a serious matter or simple everyday things. I could blame the fact that I live alone on my extreme amount of thinking, but that would be wrong. I've always been a thinker, never a talker. I'm not one to babble on and on about useless things, especially to strangers. Another thing that I learned from my mom and dad is that 'if there's nothing to say, don't say anything'. This was never forced upon us, they never literally told us to follow this rule. But it was acquired from my them somewhere along the line. And I think it is one of the most useful characteristics that I took away from them. Now don't get me wrong, we can talk. We talk when necessary and sometimes when not necessary. But we're not one of those families to shout across the house or bring annoyance upon anyone. In fact, we try to bring the opposite to each other's lives. This trait has brought contentment to my life. My family knows when to contribute their thoughts and when a simple smile is needed. 


Anyway, my thoughts send me spinning in circles sometimes. I find myself building on these thoughts and until I find an outlet (like this blog), I cannot escape. Thinking too much puts a wall up around me and I lose sight of where I am and what I'm doing here. I lose sight of the simple things that I thrive upon. I've come back down to my own level now, though. The place where I feel like myself. I've started to listen to my thoughts again, instead of just letting them swarm me like a nasty hive of bees. And I've been acting upon them instead of letting them control me. I don't entirely know what's best for me, but neither does anyone else. If I let my surroundings and my thoughts control me and my happiness, then I stop living my life for myself. And that's one thing I never want to stop doing. 

Change is a good thing...

I am amazed at what a little change can do. It's one of those things that happens so often that we typically don't recognize it unless it's huge. I recognize change every single day and usually accept it gracefully. I enjoy both kinds; the change that happens on its own, and the change I force upon myself. I guess you could call that kind of change self-improvement. Although I cling to a solid routine and stability, I do find myself craving change almost on a daily basis. Luckily, where I live allows me to see that change and restricts the entrance of a completely monotonous routine. I have experienced enough big changes in the past several months to last me quite awhile. It has consumed me as much as it could and has left me tired, but content. I now thrive off small changes and have learned to enjoy them as much as the big ones. One of the most recent noticeable changes has been the changing of seasons. Although the temperature has managed to remain in the Fall category, which I love, I have noticed the quick entrance of Christmas all around me. It has been showing up when I least expect it, but never fails to wipe a smile across my face. It's this transition between fall and winter that I both love and hate. I love the warm feeling that winter brings, but hate to see my fall favorites walk out the door. Everything goes in cycles, though, and fall will return when it's ready. 

Another change that has taken place is my choice of Starbucks locations. Please note, this change is temporary and my Starbucks of choice is still "my" location over on Jefferson Street. However, with the increasing amount of schoolwork and two upcoming midterms, I was almost forced to choose this location that sits between my apartment and my school. Again, I accept this change and am thankful for it's close proximity to school, where I will be heading shortly to utilize its library space. Change is happening constantly around me as people come and go, stopping in for their morning pick-me-up. Some, I've noticed, have included this in their daily routine and are greeted by name. Others seem to be walking into a foreign place, but quickly adjust to the atmosphere. 

As much as change excites me, I didn't see much of it over the weekend. As you probably noticed, I allowed 2 days to go by (Friday and Sunday) without retreating to one of my favorite places; my blog. There was an unusual lack of inspiration on those days and I found my hours being eaten up by school-related obligations. And since  I didn't want to bore you with minute-by-minute details, I chose to let the days pass without writing. I have learned, though, that when inspiration fails to come to me, I must go find it. After all, inspiration encourages change, and change typically results in improvement. And that's what I strive for in myself; improvement. 

Happy Saturday...

Here we go. We've got another Saturday on our hands. And I think you know exactly how I feel about this particular day. If for some reason you don't know, I love it. Today began at the perfect time, 5:30-ish. I've been roaming around since then, crossing things off my list one at a time. Sometimes I wonder if this list is created only to check things off. That's okay if it is. My day seems to go so smooth and has so much structure when the list exists. And I feel a greater sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, knowing that I completed what I wanted to get done. Now that you know about my infatuation with lists, let's move on. Winter is definitely right around the corner, this I found out after venturing to the grocery store this morning. Good thing I was prepared with my warm jacket, gloves, and boots; although the store is not more than a block away. It's inevitable that the season changes. Since there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it, I choose not to complain. I do, however, dread this time of year because it gives everyone else something to complain about. Sure, dealing with freezing temperatures and piles of snow is not my idea of fun. But you chose to live here, and since we can't magically skip an entire season, just deal with it. Better yet, make the best of it. I am still holding on tight to fall, mainly onto my pumpkin candles and the fall colors. But because I know it won't last forever, I am soaking up as much of it as I can. Both pumpkin pie candles are lit, a fresh pot of coffee is brewing, and the laundry is just about done. I will be most sad to say goodbye to football season, but I've got my Michigan shirt on and am prepared for the game against Illinois at 11:00. My counter is covered with my art project for school and the majority of today will be spent working on that, and drinking coffee of course. Oh, and don't forget my afternoon nap. That will definitely get squeezed onto my list of things to do.


I thought today would be a good day to chat about some current fashion trends, and the issues I'm having with them. It is, after all, what my marketing degree is emphasized toward, so I think it is only appropriate that I touch on the subject every once in awhile. Since leggings are plastered on almost every woman I see and will most likely stick with us through the winter months, we should know exactly how to wear them. There seems to be confusion between "leggings" and "pants". Please hear me when I say, leggings should never (ever) be worn as pants. Just because they are "in", doesn't mean it's okay for you to wear them with everything. There is a simple rule that should be followed when attempting the leggings look: your top should always be looser than you would normally wear, and it should hit mid-thigh (not mid-butt cheek). If your top is shorter than mid-thigh, it should be a signal to switch to pants. As soon as this rule is broken, you are basically doing nothing good for your body. I don't care how skinny you are, this rule should never be broken. Period. Since I am a huge fan of leggings (especially with over-sized sweaters and boots for fall), I thought I would post a few pictures of the CORRECT way to wear them. I also am loving thicker tights with menswear-inspired shorts for fall. And remember, I'm no expert. You can take my advice or leave it for dead, I don't mind either way. 


It's almost game time, and I could use a refill of this delicious vanilla hazelnut coffee. Let's all take a deep breath and enjoy this beautiful fall Saturday! 

I want to help...

Thousands of people walk the streets of Chicago everyday. Of the few hundred I see, I'd say about 75% of them are alone. Half of these people are okay with being alone, some even seem happy to be walking with no one but themselves. And the other half are either having a bad day, or are genuinely lonely. And please don't quote me on these inaccurate statistics, they are simply an estimate.
Although most of us can claim to have been "lonely" at some point in our lives, I'm not so sure we truly know the meaning of the word. I've been "there". Loneliness has struck me over the head several times in the past and I have dealt with the bruises it left me.  I have come to find out, however, that these feelings should never have been felt. Or maybe I should not have let them exist. They had no right to be a part of my life. Not once in my entire 22 years of living have I been alone. Physically, yes, of course. But mentally and emotionally, absolutely not. Growing up with a family like mine, it is entirely impossible to ever be alone. On the worst of my bad days, on the loneliest of my sad nights, there was always someone to call. There was always someone on my side. Now I'm realizing how much this was taken for granted, and I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I let myself believe I was ever alone, when I knew I wasn't. I miss my family like crazy every single second of every day; sometimes it seems unbearable. However, I am not alone. Not in the slightest. I am fortunate enough to have family at all.  My heart has been aching lately, though. Not for myself, but for those that are truly alone. It's hard for me to believe, but there are people out there that have no one but themselves. They don't have loving parents to take care of them, they don't have sisters and brothers to watch over them, they don't have true friends to care about their feelings. They have no one. These are the people that have every right to feel lonely. And these are the people that I want to scoop up in my arms and take loneliness away from. I cannot imagine a life without a mom to help me through my bad days, or a dad to call when I'm in a bad situation. I can't imagine not having sisters to share interests with and giggle uncontrollably with.  I cannot imagine a life without someone. A life without support. Because of this, I have made it my personal mission to help these people that are truly alone. And to help people in general. I have a strong urge to change people's lives and make people smile. Not only to receive self-gratification, but mainly because everyone deserves to feel happiness. I've felt enough happiness in my life to spread to millions of people. It would be selfish of me to keep it all to myself. I will start small. Today I sent in my application to be a volunteer at the local Ronald McDonald House twice a month. I hope my efforts grow and I am one day able to change someone's life. 
Until then, I can pass out plenty of smiles. As we all know, it doesn't take much for us to do it, but it may be the only smile someone sees all day. That, to me, is worth it. 

A Discovery...

I found my new favorite place. After walking past this particular place close to 100 times since I've moved here, I decided today was the day I would actually step foot inside. Depending on where you're reading this from, you may have experienced a rainy morning, much like we had here in Chicago. But I had my whole day planned out, and I was not about to let a little rain alter my plan. Up at 5:30, morning workout downstairs, two cups of vanilla/hazelnut coffee, shower time, online midterm, and one more cup of coffee. Shortly after the morning rush in the city really started to pick up, I bundled up, grabbed my umbrella, and headed out. Fortunately, this new gem is within a good walking distance from where I live so I arrive quickly, but still not knowing what to expect. It is the French Market, which for some reason I always assumed sold French food (can you blame me?). Anyway, to my surprise, it is basically a year-round indoor farmer's market! It actually sits inside the train station and is much larger than I expected. Not only do they have every fresh fruit and veggie imaginable, they also have vendors with insanely delicious looking breads, cheeses, and desserts! Oh, and an entire area with fresh fish and other meats! As you can see, I am very excited about this, but also kicking myself for not exploring it sooner. I went straight for the Golden Michigan apples (the name makes me feel closer to home), and also grabbed a few huge honey crisp apples (and when I say huge, I mean huge...check out my picture below...I put one on a large dinner plate so you get the full effect). I proceeded to the veggie area and got a few tomatoes and peppers before heading for the checkout. And this is the best part...my total was $5.00 and some change! I might just be going here every single day (and you think I'm kidding), even if it's just for these big delicious apples. Lesson learned today: never judge a book by it's cover. 


As I've told you in the past, I love rainy days. Others may struggle with them, and I see where they're coming from. But for some reason they just make me smile. I had a little extra bounce in my step on my way to and from my destination today (maybe the coffee is to blame). One thing I've realized is that it's not hard to make yourself happy, no matter what kind of situation you are in. There's always something to smile about, you just need to find it. If nothing else, the sheer fact that you are alive and healthy should be enough to make you smile. And if the majority of your day is spent with a smile on your face instead of a frown, then I'd say you've had a successful day. I know I have! 




Yes, those are Christmas lights on the tree in the picture below! And, Starbucks now has their red holiday cups...I saw people carrying them today! It's right around the corner...

I'd rather be me, thanks.

Another Tuesday huh? This one happens to be on its way out the door and I am okay with that. Tuesdays typically test my patience, mainly because they never seem to go by fast enough. But today tested a little more than that. Today my patience was at stake, and alongside my patience sat my time management skills. Both of which came through perfectly for me and I am proud of them for doing so. While we are on the subject of being tested, let's start at 5:00 AM, where my morning happened to begin. My first midterm of the semester was scheduled for 8:00. Over the past few days I had crammed more information about Global Marketing into my brain than I even thought could fit. I was prepared, to say the least. However, I got up early anyway to refresh myself. Fast forward to about 8:15 when my professor "swears he told us the exam was Thursday...must have been mistaken...let's take a vote...who would like to take it today?". Of course my hand went up, along with one other classmate who was also prepared. Needless to say we were outnumbered by the unprepared students and they, yet again, received more slack than they deserve. Don't worry, I had a nice word with my understanding professor after class. He assured me that my efforts have not gone unnoticed (after I brought up another similar situation where I felt as though my energy was useless in the class as others were given more time for projects, etc.). He also reiterated what I always try telling myself; don't worry about the people around you. Would you rather be them, and always be unprepared, always "just getting by". Or would you rather be you, and know you're working hard to exceed expectations, and know you'll get further than them? I'd rather be me, thanks. 

Moving along with a little more ease, I quickly found out that registration for Winter 2011 began yesterday. Forget the fact that we always register on the 7th week, and we are currently in our 5th week of the semester. Funny how things just change without warning. Regardless, I had a pretty good idea of what I need to take. Oh, who am I kidding...I know exactly what 18 classes I need, what teachers to avoid, and how each semester will pan out. Once I saw that light at the end of the tunnel (otherwise known as graduating), I find it hard not to count and recount and triple check my degree audit. As it stands, I will receive my bachelor's degree in March 2012. That's assuming everything goes as planned. And knowing myself, it will go as planned. I hope. I won't bore you with details, but miscommunication kept me at school until nearly 12:00. Time for Pilates. And after my somewhat hectic (but not intolerable) morning, I was ready for it. This allowed me a chance to focus on myself for an hour, and breathe. 

Time to re-prepare myself for the second half of the day. Feeling a little sluggish, I noticed the time between turning the shower on (for the second time today) and walking out the door was a little longer than usual. Anyway, I had just enough time to stop at Subway, which happens to be right next to my school, how convenient. Six inch veggie sub on 9-grain wheat please, no cheese, everything except onions (I love onions, but don't love the wretched aftertaste), and a tiny bit of honey mustard. Another chance to breathe, and finally get something in my belly. The next 3-ish hours were consumed by my art class, followed by just enough time to run home quick (I live 3 blocks from school...and love it). I whipped together a little salad and enjoyed some low-cal organic popcorn as my "dinner" if you can call it that...then it was back to school for 6:00 to give a speech (and listen to 20 others). Mine went okay...but as you may have guessed, "okay" is not good enough for me. I naturally went 2nd, as I usually do, so the rest of the 3-hour class was spent worrying about this less-than-average speech I had given. I shouldn't have wasted my time...turns outs my speech was "okay" enough to receive an A. Which tells me that A)My professor was high while writing my review, or B)I need to give myself more credit. Since he seems like a good family man, I'll go with option B.

My day has brought me here, to my little couch next to an open window where the cool breeze hits my face. I feel accomplished and proud. Not only did I get through another semi-challenging Tuesday, but I got through it with a smile on my face. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. 

Hello November...

Today is one of those "Blog at Starbucks" kind of days. Oh, who am I kidding...everyday has potential to be one of those days, doesn't it? Some days I am drawn here more easily than other days, mainly because of time and convenience restraints. Today, however, I have few restraints and plenty of time. So here I am, perched at a table in "my" Starbucks (I call it mine because it is the closest one to where I live, giving me the right to call it mine), watching people come and go, and sipping on their new "Thanksgiving Blend" coffee. I fell for it, because that's what I do best. I always say I am a marketer's dream because I fall for most products that are "new" or claim to be. I fall for the pretty packaging and sometimes even base my purchasing decision on this. I guess, if nothing else, it helps me understand the science behind marketing. This is, after all, what I am completing my degree in so it only makes sense that I embrace my tendency to fall for things that catch my eye. Anyway, one thing I am a sucker for is seasonal and holiday products, such as this Thanksgiving blend coffee I am slurping on (which is de-lish by the way). Maybe it's the fact that these things only come around once a year, or maybe it's my love for this particular season that makes me fall for these products. Regardless, I fell for it. 

So, is it just me, or did October fail to exist this year? I usually loath the passing of time, especially so quickly. However, I was okay with the limited presence of the month of October. The past 6 months seemed to all hold a title and a meaning for me. September, hands down, gets the award for the best month of the six. Not only did it bring me my birthday, but it allowed me to get an abundance of family time. I also remember this month as being my period of restoration, which in turn re-energized me to a level I never thought possible. Heading back even further, May was a month of self-realization. Although I loved the small-town life and household I had helped create, I was quickly starting to feel as though I needed more out of life. And realizing that I only have this one life to live, I acted upon this feeling. Everything happened quickly during the month of June. Since saying "yes" to a future outside of what I was used to, I was thrown into a mess of planning for this future. We'll call June my self-prioritizing month, as everything needed to be done on time and at a certain time in order for me to end up where I wanted to be when I wanted to be there. Deep breath. July, as you all know, was the month I left my small-town life and headed for the big city. Naturally, this month gets the title of my self-questioning month. I'm sure most people would question themselves and their surroundings after being immersed into an unknown world alone. Now, I look back at this month and giggle; if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have questioned myself for a second. Anyway, moving on to August. By this time I was settled into my new home, and it actually started to feel like home. I was well into my first semester back in school and things were great. We will call August my self-appreciation month. Never in my life had I felt this level of appreciation for what I had done for myself. Here I was, in Chicago. And I got here on my own, by myself. I distinctly remember saying "wow" a lot during this month. We already touched on September; this was my self-restoration month. This month gave me time to take a deep breath. Much like I am doing now, except on a grander scale. Following September was October, and as I mentioned, this month is hard to find a title for. Each day passed and I kept plugging along, fully committed to my life here in Chicago. This month held no particular meaning for me, although I did enjoy all of the "fall" aspects that came with it. We will call it my self-commitment month, for lack of a better name. 

Now, here we are in November. I love change of any kind, but the changing of months is one of my favorite kinds of change. It allows me to turn a page and expose a new chapter in my life. It allows me to challenge myself to new and exciting things, and it brings me one step closer to my goal. Although that goal is unknown, I am certain that I'm on the right track. And I am extremely anxious to see what title November ends up with.