Another page turns...

My mind has been wandering, as it often does before sitting down to write. It has been wandering aimlessly and without apprehension. As it wanders, it does not smile or frown; it merely observes. It is searching for nothing and expects too much. My mind travels alone, and it travels with little baggage. My mind is taken to unexpected places, and it is forced to revisit the past year of my life. This is only fitting, as today is the last day of the year. The last chapter of another book. The last page of that chapter and the last word on that page. Today is the last day that it is acceptable, in my mind, to return to the past. Tomorrow the acceptance will depreciate and any steps backward will be frowned upon. My mind will do the frowning in this case. As of right now, though, my mind continues to wander. I let it wander. I let it return to places it has been yearning to see again, and protect it as it wanders to places it should not go. I protect my mind like a mother protects her child.

My mind wanders through the different chapters that made up the past year of my life. This year was another book on my bookshelf. However, the title of this book is left blank. Not because it doesn't deserve a title, but simply because it does not need one. My mind wanders to the first chapter in this book without a title, and finds itself in a place of comfort and stability. Although this chapter brings contentment to my mind, it does not bring satisfaction. My mind sits there, without motivation and without determination. In the beginning of this book, I found myself with a great amount of structure. For some reason, however, I felt as though I did not belong. I was a swarming beehive on a mature oak tree. As I flip through the pages of this chapter I find monotony, but I also find peace. Unfortunately, monotony took over and left me with two choices: stay in this chapter forever, or move on to the next chapter. Since no one would want to read a book with only one chapter, I found it crucial to turn the page. And so I did.

After wandering through several chapters that lack connotation, my mind stops to rest. My mind finds itself in another significant chapter, but it is carrying luggage this time. It carries a suitcase full of lessons learned and valuable memories to be put in storage. It also carries an exceptional amount of determination that was picked up somewhere along the road. As it makes its way forward, my mind experiences the thrill all over again. The thrill of the unknown and the excitement of a fresh start. My mind is vulnerable, but does not show it. My mind is fearful, but powerful. My mind wanders a little more aimlessly through this chapter, but is amazed by every new experience. Something changes during this chapter that is indescribable. It makes perfect sense in my mind, but it is impossible to put into words. This chapter will be one that is revisited by my mind for years to come. I am proud of this chapter and the amount of pride continues to grow. Turn the page.

The pages turn faster than before. My mind flips through a series of small chapters that each hold different stories. Each page is turned with anticipation, and my mind gets a thrill out of it. My eyes are wide open and my heart is racing. The pages turn as if being forced by a strong wind but my mind is okay with this and sits back to watch. It views chapters filled with hard work, and others filled with relaxation. It also views chapters of fear and melancholy, but is relieved to remember that these were brief chapters. As pages turn, my mind recalls new adventures. It recalls seeing the unseen and doing what it thought was impossible. These chapters started as a random mess of emotions, but were quickly sorted as they were revisited. My mind is without structure. But that's exactly what it needed.

The pages stop turning. At the end of this book, my mind approaches what appears to be a few blank pages. After running like crazy through the chapters before, my mind finally stops to breathe. It breathes a deep breath. It remembers what it went through to reach these blank pages and it wonders what these blank pages mean. I quickly assure my mind that these blank pages are much needed and much appreciated. These blank pages are meant to calm my mind after all the wandering it did. Perhaps these blank pages are meant for pictures, as my mind gathered several throughout its journey. Pictures are scattered on these pages to remember a year of change.

The book closes, putting my mind to rest. Receiving the award as the most exhilerating one thus far, this book is placed on my bookshelf. It sits there, standing out amongst the rest, and is already longing to be read again. And it will be read again, when the time is right. For now, though, it is time for a new book. It is time for new experiences and more unknown. I am not typically one to make resolutions at the start of a new year. However, this year I may have to make an exception. This year will be taken day by day, step by step. This year I will only walk forward, but I will hold my past near my heart. Each day will hold different meaning, and each step will be taken with a little more pride. I will make no resolutions to change myself, only to better myself. And better those around me along the way. After seeing how quickly a year truly can pass, this coming year will be documented more precisly and enjoyed more diligently.

Looking back, I realize it may be hard to top this year. It will be difficult to surpass the levels of pure happiness and pure contentment that I experienced. It will be challenging to take on more responsibility and create more pride in myself. I am up for the challenge, however. I am up for anything. I will exceed my own expectations. I promise you that. I promise that to myself. 

Let's see what the year brings...and let's enjoy every second of it.

Home for the Holidays...

This day deserves a little extra attention. In fact, most of my days over the past week or so have been deserving of more than they received. I'm a strong believer in giving credit where credit is due. But when the days pass quicker than a freight train on an icy track, I have no choice but to give them their credit by simply closing my eyes and enjoying each moment as if it were my last. Today, however, I thought it would be appropriate that I check-in. It's time to get these thoughts out of my head and throw them into an unknown world of appreciation and sometimes even judgment. Appreciation is something I hold close to my heart, and judgment is left without much acknowledgment. If you were to step into my world right now, you would find that peace has taken over. I find myself to be at the peak of my happiness when peace arrives, and even more so when it decides to stick around for awhile. Call me boring if you'd like. But before you do, accept the invitation into my mind, into my life. My mind is an organized mess of emotions and thoughts that get sorted through on most days. On the days that they are not properly arranged, I find my mood to be lackluster. And in every effort to avoid this nonconstructive attitude, I make sure that my mind has me on track to be my happiest me. Happiness starts in the mind and from there it can become whatever you make it. 

I look around and smile as I sit here in this cozy home where I was raised. A soft blanket covers my lap and an over-sized sweater hangs on my shoulders. To my left sits quite possibly the perfect Christmas tree and behind me is a wall of windows that showcases a peaceful winter morning scene. A clock ticks for every second that passes and I hear my egg nog coffee being brewed in the kitchen. My nose is filled with the scents of Christmas; coffee, cinnamon, evergreen, and that warm smell that fills the house after days of baking. I have taken several mental pictures of my surroundings and plan to store them safely in my mind. I often wish I would have done this for every Christmas in my past. Each year would show a distinct chapter of my life. Each photo would depict different versions of myself and there would be signs of both growth and retreat. Some photos would be viewed with pride, while others would get shoved to the bottom of the pile to be viewed later on. Some photos would allow me to revisit those years in my past when Christmas was full of tradition and Santa still existed. Other photos would bring me to more recent years where my own traditions were beginning to form. Some photos would most likely deserve a good laugh, and others would be acknowledged as a learning experience. One thing is for sure; flipping through these photos would submerge me in peace and happiness. There would not be a shortage of love in these photos and the amount of my own love for those around me would be evident. 

I have a feeling my photo from this year will be slightly different from those in the past. I have a feeling this photo will be put in a frame and hung on the wall, exactly where it deserves to be. 

 

Time for a deep breath...

It's amazing what this time of year has the power to do to our mood. On a day when the freezing cold would normally leave people feeling a little bitter, there is Christmas spirit floating around and warm smiles are painted on every face I see. I would normally wonder what is making them smile, as random smiling is not typical. However, with the joyful holiday right around the corner, I do not wonder why they are smiling. And even if I don't know exactly why they are smiling, I know why I am. This is something that I always know, which makes me smile even bigger. Today is my last day in the city for a few weeks. Although, this is not what's making me smile. I do love my home and the life I've created here in Chicago, so my excitement doesn't come from leaving my routine. My excitement comes from my destination; home. I felt the biggest sense of relief at about 8:00 last night when my last class ended for the fall semester. I always love completing things, and checking things off my list. But there's something about putting another chunk of education under my belt that makes me feel not only relieved, but proud. 

I often wonder what kind of person I would be if I wouldn't have taken the leap to move here and finish school. I don't think I would be as satisfied, or as appreciative as I am right now. Even though I dislike living far away from my family, the time that I do get to spend with them is much more appreciated now than it was before. And not only that, but I appreciate my surroundings more than before, not only in the city, but at home as well. I never thought it was possible to soak up my surroundings as much as I have in the past 6 months. Somehow, though, I made it possible and am glad I did. My time here so far has changed me, there's no denying that. And even though it may not show on the outside, I certainly feel it on the inside. I've proven to myself and to others that anything is possible. If you would have asked me a year ago if I thought I would be here today, I would say absolutely not. And then I would most likely ramble off a list of excuses why I couldn't do what I did, why it was simply not possible. This is the case for many of us. But we all have that one thing in the back of our minds that we hope to accomplish one day. For me, it was moving to Chicago to finish my education. It was finishing the part of my life that was incomplete and unfulfilled. Please take my advice and take the first step toward your one thing that will make you complete. And I promise, you will become a better person in the process. I can't say it's the easiest thing to do, as I had bumps in the road that I thought would prevent me from continuing on this road. But you learn to simply step over the bumps. You learn that the bumps in the road are smaller than they seem at first. And you learn that if you don't get over the bumps, one way or another, that you will not be satisfied with yourself. For some reason it was easy for me, making a change. I never took the time to look behind me, until now. I wonder why it wasn't more difficult. I wonder how fear and uncertainty didn't take control of me along the way, as they often did in the past. But this thought quickly leaves my mind and I realize that it was meant to be this way. I was meant to do this for myself, for my life; this is why it was so easy to make the transition. 

Although this isn't my last post of the year, it will be my final goodbye to Chicago for the year. A goodbye to my favorite Starbucks, where I currently sit, sipping on warm coffee and watching the morning bustle. A goodbye to the Christmas spirit that will return to me as soon as I am home. And a goodbye to another chapter of my life, assuming a new one will begin after the holiday dust settles. It's time for a warm resting period with my family. It's time to soak up the joy of the season. It's time to take a deep breath, get cozy, close my eyes, and just smile. 

Christmas is in the air...

Today's post is way overdue. I mean extremely overdue. I wasn't sure if I would draw a blank when the time came to start typing, or if I would want to keep on typing for days on end. So far, so good...let's keep this going. You wouldn't think much could happen in a week's time, at least not enough to write about. That's not the case here, I assure you. The majority of my time over the past week was spent in front of a computer, typing and preparing three final projects, all of which exited my life yesterday. The feeling that rushed over me as they left is one of my favorite feelings in the world; completion. After having these things hanging over my head since I saw them written on the syllabus on that first day of the semester, they have finally disappeared. They are out of my hands and there is nothing more I can do with them. *Sigh* Now, the only thing on my agenda for the remainder of this last week of school is a final art project and 3 final exams. One of which will be about as easy as writing my name; this is my art class and the material is basically embedded in my brain since I reference it so often. The other two will also be a breeze, after some memorization of course. And as far as the art project goes, no problem! I'm actually anxious to get started on it this morning after I make my way to Blick's to pick up some needed supplies. My day will consist of drawing, painting, sipping coffee, and listening to Christmas music. Does it get any better than that? A much needed day of enjoyment after running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past week; perfect.


Well, my walk here was bittersweet. The sweet part references the warmth of the holidays that surrounds me constantly, no matter where I go. The bitter part is meant literally, it is currently 13 degrees in the city. That doesn't stop me from getting where I want to go, though. I bundled right up and headed here, to my favorite Starbucks on Jefferson Street, a place I haven't visited in far too long. I blame my final projects for my lack of Starbucks; in fact, I blame my final projects for my lack of blogging too, just because I can. Anyway, let's get back to the presence of the Christmas season that I am currently enclosed in. Lights are hanging from nearly every tree in the city and those soft, upbeat tunes can be heard everywhere you go. This makes walking around the city in the bitter cold actually enjoyable, as crazy as it may sound. In fact, to get the full effect, listen to one of my favorite Christmas songs that I have posted below. As this is what I was listening to (on repeat) while writing this morning. Nevermind the cheesy (but cute at times) video...simply listen to the audio. And smile.


So now I'm leaning toward the "writing for days on end" side of my uncertainty that I experienced earlier. But don't worry, I'll try not to...so please don't bail. I was greeted with a surprise yesterday after returning from my night class, as if completing a few major projects wasn't enough to make my day. My thoughtful big sister (Shelby; I guess I should specify since I have a few of them) sent me a Christmas-themed package full of goodies and I can't even explain the amount of appreciation I feel for receiving it. I tore into that box like a kid on Christmas morning, smiling from ear to ear. Then the tears came. These were tears of joy, so I accepted them and let them continue to flow. Each item in the package was carefully thought out, and I knew exactly why she had picked each of them and what she was thinking while doing so. A few of the things brought me back to our childhood; the Lifesavers Sweet Storybook that we always got during the 12 Days of Christmas from the "Weatherman", also known as mom. And a copy of Home Alone, a classic and also a favorite of ours growing up. This brought a flood of memories from our extremely happy childhood that we are so grateful for. And I haven't stopped smiling since. 


Although I would love to write for hours and hours, I do have painting to do. My weekend is already occupied, so the majority of it needs to be completed today. Two of my favorite people (Mom and Dad) will come rolling into the city on Friday at approximately 3:00 PM. I will be waiting for them at Union Station and we will spend the weekend shopping, relaxing, and enjoying the city during Christmastime. I couldn't think of a better birthday gift for my mom, as her birthday is on Friday. You can imagine my excitement for their arrival, and I will be sure to fill you in on our adventures. 


I hope to not wait so long for another posting, but you never know what life may send my way. And remember, my mom said it's okay to only write when I feel that urge. And I always listen to my mom's advice. So take my advice and do something today that makes you your happiest you, no matter what it may be. After all, that is what life is all about.


The Weepies - All That I Want

Winter is here...

Winter has officially entered my life. I've seen glimpses of it here and there over the past month or so, but today I've decided that it's here to stay for awhile. I made this decision while being slapped in the face by the cold Chicago wind (something I've heard plenty about, but had yet to experience for myself). That cold wind has the power to change more than just my facial expression. It gives me an extra boost of energy and forces me to get to my destination quicker. It almost gets the best of me until I realize that there are worse situations to be in. Walking amongst freezing cold wind is a piece of cake (as long as I don't have too far to go). Once you're hit, though, there's no turning back. You have to face the wind much like we face life; step by step. If you can force yourself to take one step after another, eventually you will reach your goal. Even if you have to cringe as the cold wind smacks you in the face. 


Oh, if you haven't realized, I'm back in Chicago for the time being. My time spent at home was enjoyed and appreciated, like always. The coziness of the holidays made it a little more difficult to escape my place of comfort this time. But since my plans don't include dropping out of college to live with my parents forever, I decided it was time to return to my life in the city. My return was different than my usual combination of car and train. I was lucky enough to be chauffeured by an old friend of mine (or let's say "high school sweetheart" to be a little less dull) that I have been in touch with over the past couple of months. I don't think I've ever talked or laughed so much as I did during those 5 1/2 hours (we hit traffic in Milwaukee). But, after nearly 4 years with little contact, it was inevitable that we would have plenty to discuss. It didn't take long to slip back into the comfort of the past and we chatted like old times all the way to my doorstep. Then it was time for me to play tour guide as we hit my favorite restaurant for dinner and ventured around the city to see the Christmas lights (which, for some reason, was even more fun in the rain). A step back in time is never a bad thing.


Now I'm tucked in my cozy apartment. Heat blasts out of the vent near the ceiling, creating the perfect sound to fall asleep to. Although, it doesn't completely mask the faint humming of the city noises, and I am okay with that. Tonight I will fall asleep with a smile on my face, and plan to wake up the same. 

Time has passed...

Too much time has passed. My last posting was nearly 10 days ago and I'm amazed at what can happen in that amount of time. I'm also amazed at how disconnected I feel from myself when I don't track my daily happenings and thoughts. Now I feel as though there is too much to discuss in this small space, so I will spare you the boring details and just touch on the main points. One thing that can't be overlooked is where I am right now. You guessed it; I'm spending my last day here at home before heading back to my chaotic life. It's not always chaotic for me in the city, however. In fact, it's typically far from it, and for that I am very lucky. But these last 3 weeks of the fall semester are not going to treat me as well as the first 8 weeks did, I have a feeling. I'm okay with this. I know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by. I will be confined to the "quiet" room on the 8th floor as I crank through a huge term project, 2 small speeches, a final speech, 2 art projects, and preparation for 4 final exams. Oh, and toss in wrap-up of some extra credit in there. Surprisingly, this does not make me anxious or nervous. I will take it one task at a time and just keep on crossing things off of my list. After all, that's all I can do.

Anyway, for the time being I am enjoying the simplicity of life here at home. The air is cold and stiff. Although the sun is shining, it does not give off much heat. The leaves are bare and there is a thin layer of ice covering the once flowing river to my right. Winter is here, whether we want it to be or not. I will accept the entrance of winter into my life. In return, it has given me another successful holiday that was filled with more family time than I expected to receive. It gave me cozy days with my parents and sisters next to the fire, a house full of family on Thanksgiving day, and an afternoon of football with even more family yesterday. It also gave me the new and exciting experience of "Black Friday", which was a thrill, to say the least. And much needed conversation over coffee with my big sister Shelby, something that was way overdue. It seemed as though every day brought both new and familiar faces, different kinds of excitement, and a huge amount of happiness. The kind of happiness that can only be felt here. I am amazed everytime I come home at how much my family means to me. It doesn't always take a holiday for this realization to happen, but it definitely helps. I am also amazed at how warm the mood is around the holidays. It's a warmth that is taken for granted, I will admit. But definitely shouldn't be.

Nap time with one of my nieces next to the fire...

Two familiar faces...

The level of happiness that I sit on right now is amazing. My day was decorated with so many different characteristics that all blended beautifully to create quite possibly the perfect day. This was not a typical Wednesday for me. In fact, it was far from the norm. It did start early, as usual. But by now you should know that an early start is the base for a good day in my book. With the end of the semester quickly approaching, I've found my school workload to be a little greater than usual. Don't worry though, by 8:00 this morning I had completed a major chunk of that load, and found myself more at ease after doing so. (I also was able to bake a couple dozen pumpkin cookies and sip down a pot of coffee while completing my work) Although there are still projects to be completed and speeches to prepare, they are going to be a cinch. It's all smooth sailing from here. And even if it wasn't, I would still be a happy girl. In fact, happier than usual, considering two familiar faces today came to the city today. Two of my favorite familiar faces, to be exact. My big sis, Shelby, and brother Jordan (okay, brother-in-law, but he's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother) drove into the city today and arrived around 12:00. Early tomorrow morning those lucky ducks will fly to Jamaica for some much needed vacation time. So they visited me for lunch since O'Hare Airport is less than 30 minutes from the city. My excitement was greater than it has been in a long time. I am so grateful to not only have big sisters (and brothers), but to have them as best friends also. Seeing their faces brought me to this level of happiness, and I haven't departed since. My family is almost like an addiction. This addiction, however, is one that I feel proud and lucky to possess. Each chunk of time that is spent without them leaves me craving their presence more and more. And getting that "fix" of quality time leaves me feeling refreshed. It leaves me feeling as though I can make it through the next span of time before seeing one of them again. Luckily, this next chunk of time is very short, and I am very thrilled about that. 

After their departure, I nestled back into my cave in the sky and flipped back and forth between my two favorite afternoon talk shows, Dr. Phil and Ellen. I considered a nap, but quickly decided that I would rather have an early bed time. The weather in the city tonight is fairly gloomy and there is a slight mist in the air. Nonetheless, I got the urge to blog from Starbucks. So here I am, sitting in my favorite Starbucks, sipping on a delicious cup of coffee and listening to Christmas music. My walk here was unusually joyful. I'm pretty sure a smile was plastered across my face the whole way, and those around me must have thought I was crazy. Or maybe they just thought I was happy, because I was. And I still am. 

Today's mix of baking, relaxing, productivity, Christmas music, and of course family has made for a truly beautiful day. Today has reinforced why I am here, and why I love being here. Today has reminded me that life should be completely filled with those things that make you your happiest you. And right now, I am my happiest me I've been in a long time.

I'm a thinker...

Here I am! For those of you that were wondering, I am alive and kicking, thank you for your concerns. The past five days have been lacking a certain amount of inspiration and I found myself ending each day with a blank mind. Don't worry, my mom says this is just fine. She told me to only write if I feel it. Unfortunately, this week I never felt it, leaving me with nothing to write and you with nothing to read. It's funny how much I still turn to my mom and dad for guidance, although I know that will never change. Growing up you think there's some age that dependency on your parents will end, and it's partly true. I've been working toward releasing myself from them physically over the past couple of years and I think I've succeeded for the most part. However, the emotional dependency will always be there and I am just fine with that. So when I turned to my mom, concerned about my lack of writing my blog, I knew she would be okay with it. And there's something about getting that "it's okay" that washes any worries away, no matter how big or small. 


I've been having a hard time listening to myself lately. It's so easy to give advice, but for some reason it has been extremely difficult to take my own and run with it. It's like that overweight mother who stresses the importance of eating healthy and being active to her kids. Except, not literally. I'm definitely a thinker. Sometimes I find myself exhausted from the amount of thinking I do in a day, whether it's about a serious matter or simple everyday things. I could blame the fact that I live alone on my extreme amount of thinking, but that would be wrong. I've always been a thinker, never a talker. I'm not one to babble on and on about useless things, especially to strangers. Another thing that I learned from my mom and dad is that 'if there's nothing to say, don't say anything'. This was never forced upon us, they never literally told us to follow this rule. But it was acquired from my them somewhere along the line. And I think it is one of the most useful characteristics that I took away from them. Now don't get me wrong, we can talk. We talk when necessary and sometimes when not necessary. But we're not one of those families to shout across the house or bring annoyance upon anyone. In fact, we try to bring the opposite to each other's lives. This trait has brought contentment to my life. My family knows when to contribute their thoughts and when a simple smile is needed. 


Anyway, my thoughts send me spinning in circles sometimes. I find myself building on these thoughts and until I find an outlet (like this blog), I cannot escape. Thinking too much puts a wall up around me and I lose sight of where I am and what I'm doing here. I lose sight of the simple things that I thrive upon. I've come back down to my own level now, though. The place where I feel like myself. I've started to listen to my thoughts again, instead of just letting them swarm me like a nasty hive of bees. And I've been acting upon them instead of letting them control me. I don't entirely know what's best for me, but neither does anyone else. If I let my surroundings and my thoughts control me and my happiness, then I stop living my life for myself. And that's one thing I never want to stop doing. 

Change is a good thing...

I am amazed at what a little change can do. It's one of those things that happens so often that we typically don't recognize it unless it's huge. I recognize change every single day and usually accept it gracefully. I enjoy both kinds; the change that happens on its own, and the change I force upon myself. I guess you could call that kind of change self-improvement. Although I cling to a solid routine and stability, I do find myself craving change almost on a daily basis. Luckily, where I live allows me to see that change and restricts the entrance of a completely monotonous routine. I have experienced enough big changes in the past several months to last me quite awhile. It has consumed me as much as it could and has left me tired, but content. I now thrive off small changes and have learned to enjoy them as much as the big ones. One of the most recent noticeable changes has been the changing of seasons. Although the temperature has managed to remain in the Fall category, which I love, I have noticed the quick entrance of Christmas all around me. It has been showing up when I least expect it, but never fails to wipe a smile across my face. It's this transition between fall and winter that I both love and hate. I love the warm feeling that winter brings, but hate to see my fall favorites walk out the door. Everything goes in cycles, though, and fall will return when it's ready. 

Another change that has taken place is my choice of Starbucks locations. Please note, this change is temporary and my Starbucks of choice is still "my" location over on Jefferson Street. However, with the increasing amount of schoolwork and two upcoming midterms, I was almost forced to choose this location that sits between my apartment and my school. Again, I accept this change and am thankful for it's close proximity to school, where I will be heading shortly to utilize its library space. Change is happening constantly around me as people come and go, stopping in for their morning pick-me-up. Some, I've noticed, have included this in their daily routine and are greeted by name. Others seem to be walking into a foreign place, but quickly adjust to the atmosphere. 

As much as change excites me, I didn't see much of it over the weekend. As you probably noticed, I allowed 2 days to go by (Friday and Sunday) without retreating to one of my favorite places; my blog. There was an unusual lack of inspiration on those days and I found my hours being eaten up by school-related obligations. And since  I didn't want to bore you with minute-by-minute details, I chose to let the days pass without writing. I have learned, though, that when inspiration fails to come to me, I must go find it. After all, inspiration encourages change, and change typically results in improvement. And that's what I strive for in myself; improvement. 

Happy Saturday...

Here we go. We've got another Saturday on our hands. And I think you know exactly how I feel about this particular day. If for some reason you don't know, I love it. Today began at the perfect time, 5:30-ish. I've been roaming around since then, crossing things off my list one at a time. Sometimes I wonder if this list is created only to check things off. That's okay if it is. My day seems to go so smooth and has so much structure when the list exists. And I feel a greater sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, knowing that I completed what I wanted to get done. Now that you know about my infatuation with lists, let's move on. Winter is definitely right around the corner, this I found out after venturing to the grocery store this morning. Good thing I was prepared with my warm jacket, gloves, and boots; although the store is not more than a block away. It's inevitable that the season changes. Since there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it, I choose not to complain. I do, however, dread this time of year because it gives everyone else something to complain about. Sure, dealing with freezing temperatures and piles of snow is not my idea of fun. But you chose to live here, and since we can't magically skip an entire season, just deal with it. Better yet, make the best of it. I am still holding on tight to fall, mainly onto my pumpkin candles and the fall colors. But because I know it won't last forever, I am soaking up as much of it as I can. Both pumpkin pie candles are lit, a fresh pot of coffee is brewing, and the laundry is just about done. I will be most sad to say goodbye to football season, but I've got my Michigan shirt on and am prepared for the game against Illinois at 11:00. My counter is covered with my art project for school and the majority of today will be spent working on that, and drinking coffee of course. Oh, and don't forget my afternoon nap. That will definitely get squeezed onto my list of things to do.


I thought today would be a good day to chat about some current fashion trends, and the issues I'm having with them. It is, after all, what my marketing degree is emphasized toward, so I think it is only appropriate that I touch on the subject every once in awhile. Since leggings are plastered on almost every woman I see and will most likely stick with us through the winter months, we should know exactly how to wear them. There seems to be confusion between "leggings" and "pants". Please hear me when I say, leggings should never (ever) be worn as pants. Just because they are "in", doesn't mean it's okay for you to wear them with everything. There is a simple rule that should be followed when attempting the leggings look: your top should always be looser than you would normally wear, and it should hit mid-thigh (not mid-butt cheek). If your top is shorter than mid-thigh, it should be a signal to switch to pants. As soon as this rule is broken, you are basically doing nothing good for your body. I don't care how skinny you are, this rule should never be broken. Period. Since I am a huge fan of leggings (especially with over-sized sweaters and boots for fall), I thought I would post a few pictures of the CORRECT way to wear them. I also am loving thicker tights with menswear-inspired shorts for fall. And remember, I'm no expert. You can take my advice or leave it for dead, I don't mind either way. 


It's almost game time, and I could use a refill of this delicious vanilla hazelnut coffee. Let's all take a deep breath and enjoy this beautiful fall Saturday! 

I want to help...

Thousands of people walk the streets of Chicago everyday. Of the few hundred I see, I'd say about 75% of them are alone. Half of these people are okay with being alone, some even seem happy to be walking with no one but themselves. And the other half are either having a bad day, or are genuinely lonely. And please don't quote me on these inaccurate statistics, they are simply an estimate.
Although most of us can claim to have been "lonely" at some point in our lives, I'm not so sure we truly know the meaning of the word. I've been "there". Loneliness has struck me over the head several times in the past and I have dealt with the bruises it left me.  I have come to find out, however, that these feelings should never have been felt. Or maybe I should not have let them exist. They had no right to be a part of my life. Not once in my entire 22 years of living have I been alone. Physically, yes, of course. But mentally and emotionally, absolutely not. Growing up with a family like mine, it is entirely impossible to ever be alone. On the worst of my bad days, on the loneliest of my sad nights, there was always someone to call. There was always someone on my side. Now I'm realizing how much this was taken for granted, and I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I let myself believe I was ever alone, when I knew I wasn't. I miss my family like crazy every single second of every day; sometimes it seems unbearable. However, I am not alone. Not in the slightest. I am fortunate enough to have family at all.  My heart has been aching lately, though. Not for myself, but for those that are truly alone. It's hard for me to believe, but there are people out there that have no one but themselves. They don't have loving parents to take care of them, they don't have sisters and brothers to watch over them, they don't have true friends to care about their feelings. They have no one. These are the people that have every right to feel lonely. And these are the people that I want to scoop up in my arms and take loneliness away from. I cannot imagine a life without a mom to help me through my bad days, or a dad to call when I'm in a bad situation. I can't imagine not having sisters to share interests with and giggle uncontrollably with.  I cannot imagine a life without someone. A life without support. Because of this, I have made it my personal mission to help these people that are truly alone. And to help people in general. I have a strong urge to change people's lives and make people smile. Not only to receive self-gratification, but mainly because everyone deserves to feel happiness. I've felt enough happiness in my life to spread to millions of people. It would be selfish of me to keep it all to myself. I will start small. Today I sent in my application to be a volunteer at the local Ronald McDonald House twice a month. I hope my efforts grow and I am one day able to change someone's life. 
Until then, I can pass out plenty of smiles. As we all know, it doesn't take much for us to do it, but it may be the only smile someone sees all day. That, to me, is worth it. 

A Discovery...

I found my new favorite place. After walking past this particular place close to 100 times since I've moved here, I decided today was the day I would actually step foot inside. Depending on where you're reading this from, you may have experienced a rainy morning, much like we had here in Chicago. But I had my whole day planned out, and I was not about to let a little rain alter my plan. Up at 5:30, morning workout downstairs, two cups of vanilla/hazelnut coffee, shower time, online midterm, and one more cup of coffee. Shortly after the morning rush in the city really started to pick up, I bundled up, grabbed my umbrella, and headed out. Fortunately, this new gem is within a good walking distance from where I live so I arrive quickly, but still not knowing what to expect. It is the French Market, which for some reason I always assumed sold French food (can you blame me?). Anyway, to my surprise, it is basically a year-round indoor farmer's market! It actually sits inside the train station and is much larger than I expected. Not only do they have every fresh fruit and veggie imaginable, they also have vendors with insanely delicious looking breads, cheeses, and desserts! Oh, and an entire area with fresh fish and other meats! As you can see, I am very excited about this, but also kicking myself for not exploring it sooner. I went straight for the Golden Michigan apples (the name makes me feel closer to home), and also grabbed a few huge honey crisp apples (and when I say huge, I mean huge...check out my picture below...I put one on a large dinner plate so you get the full effect). I proceeded to the veggie area and got a few tomatoes and peppers before heading for the checkout. And this is the best part...my total was $5.00 and some change! I might just be going here every single day (and you think I'm kidding), even if it's just for these big delicious apples. Lesson learned today: never judge a book by it's cover. 


As I've told you in the past, I love rainy days. Others may struggle with them, and I see where they're coming from. But for some reason they just make me smile. I had a little extra bounce in my step on my way to and from my destination today (maybe the coffee is to blame). One thing I've realized is that it's not hard to make yourself happy, no matter what kind of situation you are in. There's always something to smile about, you just need to find it. If nothing else, the sheer fact that you are alive and healthy should be enough to make you smile. And if the majority of your day is spent with a smile on your face instead of a frown, then I'd say you've had a successful day. I know I have! 




Yes, those are Christmas lights on the tree in the picture below! And, Starbucks now has their red holiday cups...I saw people carrying them today! It's right around the corner...

I'd rather be me, thanks.

Another Tuesday huh? This one happens to be on its way out the door and I am okay with that. Tuesdays typically test my patience, mainly because they never seem to go by fast enough. But today tested a little more than that. Today my patience was at stake, and alongside my patience sat my time management skills. Both of which came through perfectly for me and I am proud of them for doing so. While we are on the subject of being tested, let's start at 5:00 AM, where my morning happened to begin. My first midterm of the semester was scheduled for 8:00. Over the past few days I had crammed more information about Global Marketing into my brain than I even thought could fit. I was prepared, to say the least. However, I got up early anyway to refresh myself. Fast forward to about 8:15 when my professor "swears he told us the exam was Thursday...must have been mistaken...let's take a vote...who would like to take it today?". Of course my hand went up, along with one other classmate who was also prepared. Needless to say we were outnumbered by the unprepared students and they, yet again, received more slack than they deserve. Don't worry, I had a nice word with my understanding professor after class. He assured me that my efforts have not gone unnoticed (after I brought up another similar situation where I felt as though my energy was useless in the class as others were given more time for projects, etc.). He also reiterated what I always try telling myself; don't worry about the people around you. Would you rather be them, and always be unprepared, always "just getting by". Or would you rather be you, and know you're working hard to exceed expectations, and know you'll get further than them? I'd rather be me, thanks. 

Moving along with a little more ease, I quickly found out that registration for Winter 2011 began yesterday. Forget the fact that we always register on the 7th week, and we are currently in our 5th week of the semester. Funny how things just change without warning. Regardless, I had a pretty good idea of what I need to take. Oh, who am I kidding...I know exactly what 18 classes I need, what teachers to avoid, and how each semester will pan out. Once I saw that light at the end of the tunnel (otherwise known as graduating), I find it hard not to count and recount and triple check my degree audit. As it stands, I will receive my bachelor's degree in March 2012. That's assuming everything goes as planned. And knowing myself, it will go as planned. I hope. I won't bore you with details, but miscommunication kept me at school until nearly 12:00. Time for Pilates. And after my somewhat hectic (but not intolerable) morning, I was ready for it. This allowed me a chance to focus on myself for an hour, and breathe. 

Time to re-prepare myself for the second half of the day. Feeling a little sluggish, I noticed the time between turning the shower on (for the second time today) and walking out the door was a little longer than usual. Anyway, I had just enough time to stop at Subway, which happens to be right next to my school, how convenient. Six inch veggie sub on 9-grain wheat please, no cheese, everything except onions (I love onions, but don't love the wretched aftertaste), and a tiny bit of honey mustard. Another chance to breathe, and finally get something in my belly. The next 3-ish hours were consumed by my art class, followed by just enough time to run home quick (I live 3 blocks from school...and love it). I whipped together a little salad and enjoyed some low-cal organic popcorn as my "dinner" if you can call it that...then it was back to school for 6:00 to give a speech (and listen to 20 others). Mine went okay...but as you may have guessed, "okay" is not good enough for me. I naturally went 2nd, as I usually do, so the rest of the 3-hour class was spent worrying about this less-than-average speech I had given. I shouldn't have wasted my time...turns outs my speech was "okay" enough to receive an A. Which tells me that A)My professor was high while writing my review, or B)I need to give myself more credit. Since he seems like a good family man, I'll go with option B.

My day has brought me here, to my little couch next to an open window where the cool breeze hits my face. I feel accomplished and proud. Not only did I get through another semi-challenging Tuesday, but I got through it with a smile on my face. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. 

Hello November...

Today is one of those "Blog at Starbucks" kind of days. Oh, who am I kidding...everyday has potential to be one of those days, doesn't it? Some days I am drawn here more easily than other days, mainly because of time and convenience restraints. Today, however, I have few restraints and plenty of time. So here I am, perched at a table in "my" Starbucks (I call it mine because it is the closest one to where I live, giving me the right to call it mine), watching people come and go, and sipping on their new "Thanksgiving Blend" coffee. I fell for it, because that's what I do best. I always say I am a marketer's dream because I fall for most products that are "new" or claim to be. I fall for the pretty packaging and sometimes even base my purchasing decision on this. I guess, if nothing else, it helps me understand the science behind marketing. This is, after all, what I am completing my degree in so it only makes sense that I embrace my tendency to fall for things that catch my eye. Anyway, one thing I am a sucker for is seasonal and holiday products, such as this Thanksgiving blend coffee I am slurping on (which is de-lish by the way). Maybe it's the fact that these things only come around once a year, or maybe it's my love for this particular season that makes me fall for these products. Regardless, I fell for it. 

So, is it just me, or did October fail to exist this year? I usually loath the passing of time, especially so quickly. However, I was okay with the limited presence of the month of October. The past 6 months seemed to all hold a title and a meaning for me. September, hands down, gets the award for the best month of the six. Not only did it bring me my birthday, but it allowed me to get an abundance of family time. I also remember this month as being my period of restoration, which in turn re-energized me to a level I never thought possible. Heading back even further, May was a month of self-realization. Although I loved the small-town life and household I had helped create, I was quickly starting to feel as though I needed more out of life. And realizing that I only have this one life to live, I acted upon this feeling. Everything happened quickly during the month of June. Since saying "yes" to a future outside of what I was used to, I was thrown into a mess of planning for this future. We'll call June my self-prioritizing month, as everything needed to be done on time and at a certain time in order for me to end up where I wanted to be when I wanted to be there. Deep breath. July, as you all know, was the month I left my small-town life and headed for the big city. Naturally, this month gets the title of my self-questioning month. I'm sure most people would question themselves and their surroundings after being immersed into an unknown world alone. Now, I look back at this month and giggle; if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have questioned myself for a second. Anyway, moving on to August. By this time I was settled into my new home, and it actually started to feel like home. I was well into my first semester back in school and things were great. We will call August my self-appreciation month. Never in my life had I felt this level of appreciation for what I had done for myself. Here I was, in Chicago. And I got here on my own, by myself. I distinctly remember saying "wow" a lot during this month. We already touched on September; this was my self-restoration month. This month gave me time to take a deep breath. Much like I am doing now, except on a grander scale. Following September was October, and as I mentioned, this month is hard to find a title for. Each day passed and I kept plugging along, fully committed to my life here in Chicago. This month held no particular meaning for me, although I did enjoy all of the "fall" aspects that came with it. We will call it my self-commitment month, for lack of a better name. 

Now, here we are in November. I love change of any kind, but the changing of months is one of my favorite kinds of change. It allows me to turn a page and expose a new chapter in my life. It allows me to challenge myself to new and exciting things, and it brings me one step closer to my goal. Although that goal is unknown, I am certain that I'm on the right track. And I am extremely anxious to see what title November ends up with.

Take care of yourself...

I am amazed by the obvious. It has taken me quite awhile to find this resolution, even though it has been right in front of my face the whole time. I am amazed at how much better life is if you take care of yourself. Now, I'm not talking extreme pampering, or any special treatment at all. I'm talking about the basics: eating healthy, being active, getting enough sleep, and drinking plenty of water. How many times have you heard that? Probably a million. But yet, most of us still search and search and search for the answer. We are looking for a quick fix. We are looking for that diet that will make us "lose 20 pounds in three weeks". Or that workout plan that will "drop inches from your waist in minutes". Number 1, is that even possible? And number 2, if it is possible, is it really healthy? We are looking for an easy way out of this mess we've found ourselves in. But, how much easier can you get than following the basics mentioned above? 


I will be the first to admit that I have been a prisoner of food and extreme dieting for the past couple of years. Sometimes I felt as though I had an addiction. To food. For some sick reason, I let food take over my life, both mentally and physically. My mind would tell me that it's okay to eat junk, and carbs, and fatty foods. But my poor body would sit there helpless, surrendering to my mind's humiliating dependency on food. This addiction (if we can call it that) never resulted in anything good. Beyond the initial taste of food, it brought me nothing but disgust and embarrassment. This disappointment brought upon the need to diet. I can't tell you how many times I searched on Google "lose weight fast" or "detox diets". I would find the easiest plan and stick to it for a couple weeks. On top of that would be a new workout plan or some form of extreme exercise. It wouldn't be long, though, before this lifestyle would give up on me and I would be face to face with my enemy once again. The feeling of failure is something I've experienced more times than I can count. Failing myself was a reoccurring situation. 


Of course you failed, you idiot. Every fad diet and miracle weight loss plan fail. Sure, I managed to maintain a healthy weight for as long as I can remember. But in all that time, I never remember once being satisfied with myself, with my body. It was always one extreme or the other. Either completely surrender to food and "start my diet tomorrow", or completely neglect to nourish my body. My new favorite saying is "you are what you eat", because it is SO TRUE. If you expect to feel happy and healthy after eating a greasy pizza, a dozen cookies, and a large milkshake, you're wrong. There's a reason someone came up with the food pyramid, because it's exactly what our bodies need to be healthy! Go back to the caveman days; they ate food to simply stay alive. Now here we are, being gluttonous and stuffing our poor stomachs with stuff it does not want or need. 


Trust me, I know it is easier said than done. However, I have witnessed first-hand what eating healthy and being active can do. It will change your life (not to mention your skin will appear healthier, your energy level will go up, your mood will change, your body will change, and your self-confidence will increase dramatically). Don't get me wrong, I can't live without chocolate and pizza. But I don't need an entire bag of chocolate and 6 pieces of pizza. Food doesn't need to be the first thing on my mind. Lately, I'm proud to say it hasn't been. And since I've shoved my dependency upon food to the back of my mind, I am able to live a happier, healthier life. My body needs certain things; fruit, veggies, whole grains, etc. That's what it needs to be healthy, and that's what it deserves. We were all given just one body...the least we can do is take care of it. 


On a less-serious note, there was a pet costume parade in the park behind my apartment building this morning! Of course I bundled up, grabbed coffee from Starbucks, and watched them prance around...and took pictures! 

Sorry to leave you hanging...

Although you can't really see my nails (you'll just have to trust me on that one), here is a picture of my new coat. You can thank Jennie for pushing me to post this...sorry to leave you hanging guys! Oh, and this is not today's blog by the way...there's still one coming! :) 

Bring on the cold weather...

Friday managed to roll around again. Although the sight of another weekend is beyond appealing, I cannot believe how fast time slips by without notice. It seems like it was literally yesterday that I made the commitment to pack up and move; and now here I am, 4 months later, almost a completely different person. Time didn't fail to pass me like a freight train, although I feel like I was standing still the whole time. If that makes any sense.  Anyway, my Friday was great (although I can't imagine a Friday being anything less). The first thing I noticed as I started my day was that this beastly cold has not completely left my system. I knew this when I looked at my phone and saw 10:15...which is 4 more hours of sleep than I am used to getting. This immediately told me that I apparently needed the rest and my body thanked me for it. As much as I would love to say "your welcome" I could not; I still felt as though I had already wasted part of my day. But, I had to get over it and accept the fact that it was much needed. With this road-block behind me, I bundled up to face the 40 degree weather outside, putting on an extra layer to prevent this cold from getting any worse. Although I have several "fall" jackets, I've yet to purchase a "winter in Chicago" jacket. And according to everyone I've talked to, I will need a good one. That's where I headed, to find a "winter in Chicago" jacket, and I wasn't coming home until I found one. Although the locals have told me I will need a "floor length, puffy coat with a big hood", I still could not fathom the idea of me walking around in an unflattering marshmallow coat that touches the ground. So, I met them halfway and compromised with a mid-thigh length, semi-puffy Anne Klein coat with a nice big hood lined with fur. I was shooting for warmth, but managed to find both warmth AND style. Perfect. 

One thing you should know about me is that I hate shopping in stores. Surprised? Me too. Nothing about being in an overcrowded, overly loud store with bad music is appealing to me. Let alone having to dodge random items on the floor that other customers were too lazy to pick up. I guess I shouldn't say I hate it all the time. I do get in my moods where I like to just browse for hours and see what I come up with. This is assuming it's not a weekend and I have the patience to do so. However, the majority of the time I would much rather order what I need from the comfort of my own home. If everything was guaranteed to fit correctly and shipping was free, I would do it more often. Anyway, after bracing the chaos on State Street to find this new jacket of mine, I jumped back on the L and made my way back to my quiet side of town. Since I'm horrible at making decisions, coat shopping took a little longer than expected. Regardless, I arrived at my local Starbucks just in time to enjoy a warm cup of coffee before crossing the street to make my 3:00 appointment at the nail salon. Another thing you should know about me is that I have an addiction to getting my nails done. Of all the cosmetic harm I could inflict upon my body, the one thing I choose to do is get my nails filled every few weeks. So before you go assuming that I'm a tan-aholic, shop-aholic that clicks around in high heels and gets her hair highlighted monthly, please stop yourself. I am none of those things, and I'm glad I'm not. Moving on. There is something about having a freshly filled full set that has the power to completely change your view of yourself. The moment I sit in the chair at this salon that I've never been to, I feel relaxed. It's a gorgeous place, the staff is incredibly polite, and it's only a few blocks from my apartment. I feel like I've found heaven. The nail technician works her magic, without any conversation, which is what I prefer. The transformation from grown-out, chipped nails to beautifully polished ones is incredible to me. Getting rid of my summer white tip, I opted for a taupe color for fall. But before the color was applied I was surprised to receive a mini-hand massage including warm towels wrapped around each of my hands. I like this place even more. The color was perfect, the shape was perfect, it was all perfect and I didn't even have to give any direction. But it did not end here. As I sat down at their bar-style drying stations I was treated to yet another massage, this time on my neck and shoulders. I've always thought a neck massage would go well at this stage in the appointment, but never imagined it would ever be included. It was, and I loved it. And I will return in a few weeks for another session. 

Although today seemed to fly by, like most days do, I feel like it was overall a successful Friday. I am clearly well rested, but I don't see bed time being too far in the distance. I'm shooting for another successful day tomorrow and will be sure to report the outcome. 

Heat is my friend...

One of my favorite things in the world is heat. I don't want anything to do with it until the temperature outside drops below 50 degrees, then it's my best friend. During the summer months, however, I despise it. I loath the sticky, sweaty, hot, uncomfortable combination that comes with the months of June, July, and August. But when that cold air enters my life, so does my love for heat. I'm not sure if it's the actual feel of warm air, or if it's the sound. Call me boring, but I find myself in my most comfortable and relaxed place when I can cuddle up and listen to nothing but the sound of heat pouring into my home. This love affair with heat and the sound of heat goes way back to when I was small. I remember cold winter days at home, waking up early while there was still frost on the ground. (Keep in mind that I tried to avoid this sounding like a story you may hear from your grandmother, but I simply could not avoid it). My mom always had breakfast on the table for us. At least 4 boxes of cereal decorated the "breakfast room" table along with 4 bowls (soon it would be 3 bowls when Sarah would pack up and head to college) and of course a gallon of milk. On these mornings I would choose my cereal of the day, pour myself a bowl, and go sit on the floor by the kitchen sink. This is where the heat came out; from a 3x6 vent under the sink. More often than not I would bring a blanket in there with me, just to add to my comfort. This was a hit-or-miss location, though. The furnace would run for about 10 minutes straight before shutting off, and basically telling you it's time to move along. I remember sitting there, dreading it turning off, dreading moving from that warm spot and into the cool house. Another favorite place that heat often showed up was by the fireplace. We (and when I say we, I mean my sisters and I) would lay on the floor with our feet perched up next to the glass doors, allowing our feet to get warm. Once in awhile our feet would touch the glass, warning us to not get too close. Not only did we enjoy the natural heat that radiated off the burning fire, but we also got to enjoy the sound of heat coming from the vent above the fireplace as it blasted warm air down onto us. Sometimes we would even try to "dry our hair" by this vent, although it usually failed us as a blow dryer. Oh, and we had our space heater in the upstairs bathroom. Looking back, it was probably the most unsafe appliance to have in a household, especially in a bathroom with 4 girls. But luckily they've come out with newer models, as I'm sure this one was from the '70s. Surprisingly, these newer models don't have exposed coils like the one we had did (yes, you could literally grab the flaming hot coils). 

So looking back, there is something about heat that has always brought me to a different level of comfort. Something about that sound that relaxes me and allows me to sleep easy. It has been a huge part of memories growing up, and I'm sure will be in my future.  It has always been one of those things that must be enjoyed while it lasts, but has also been taken for granted. I may not always be able to enjoy what heat has to offer me, but for this moment right now, I can. And I am. 

This picture was taken during my vacation at home. Almost every night was spent in this spot.

Feels good to be back...

Here I am. I'm back in my safe outlet. After not writing for a few days, I started to crave it. But of all the things I could be addicted to, I'd say writing my blog is fairly harmless. I am perched on the newest addition to my home in the sky; a leather loveseat (passed down from my grandparents). It fits perfectly in the nook by my middle window, and gives my space even more of a home-y feeling. I didn't realize how convenient and comfortable having a piece of furniture to sit on would be. After having nothing but my bed and a couple stools for nearly 4 months, it's nice to have a couch. Sitting next to me is a mug of hot tea and a box of tissues. An angry head cold snuck up on me yesterday and is still lingering today. I can't remember the last time I was "sick". I think it was over 2 years ago when I was hit by the flu; but no traces of anything serious since then. I guess that makes me pretty lucky. I am more lucky that I don't have class today, allowing time for my body to rest. Maybe I deserve this combination of a sore throat, stuffy nose, and achy muscles, though. It's almost as if it's my punishment for taking 3 days off to spend time with my parents. Which was amazing, by the way. 

They hadn't been in the city for almost 4 months, since I moved in. Although they prefer their small-town lifestyle, they love experiencing the big city for a few days. And I love showing them my city. Four months ago it was a world of unknown. But now, I feel like I have a good grip on what's going on around me. I feel less like a tourist and more like a local. I know the tourist in me will never completely go away, though. And I'm not sure I would ever want it to. We did a lot of walking, which is never a bad way to get around the city. And we did hail a cab or two somewhere along the way. We tried a couple new restaurants, I took them to my favorite bar down the street, and introduced them to "my" Starbucks. We all agreed that although it is a busy city, there is a fresh calming feeling you get while you're here. Walking the streets of Chicago gives you that excitement that comes with a big city, without being too overwhelming. Of all the ground we covered, though, their favorite spot was the same as mine: the view from the middle window in my apartment. Something about being up here, above all the action, is enough to make you feel completely relaxed. 

And that's how I feel right now, completely relaxed. Maybe it's the cold medication causing this feeling, or maybe it's me getting my writing fix. Let's assume it's a combination of the two. Regardless, I promised myself I will not go this long without writing again. And I don't break promises, especially when they're to myself.

Please enjoy this random snapshot of us in the cab. Apparently it was impossible to get all 3 of us in the picture!

Inspired...

After yesterday's events, today's entry may seem a little uninspiring. That is certainly not my mood today, however. I am inspired everyday. And if there is nothing within my surroundings to bring me inspiration, I find it. I have been up for over 5 hours already and have decided that my favorite time of day is between 5:00 and 7:00 AM. There is something about being up before the sun rises that makes me feel accomplished. Even if I sit in my pajamas, sip coffee, and paint for those two hours, I still feel better than if I were to sleep in. And that's exactly what I did this morning. Although I'm sure I could tweak it a little, my current work of art is complete. It's not what I intended to create when I had the blank canvas in front of me. In fact, I made many changes as my mood changed and as new inspiration came to me. And I went through a few tubes of acrylic to compensate for these changes. Somehow, though, I was able to make the connection between the thoughts in my head and the paintbrush. There is something about painting that brings me to a different level. For that moment, I am drowning in thoughts and translating them into colors and brush strokes. Although I am still an amateur, I have to keep in mind that everyone starts somewhere. Every painting will increase in craftsmanship and every blank canvas will get splattered with the story of my life. 


I made my way to the Chicago Public Library this morning, and naturally found a Starbucks on the way home. I plopped myself here, next to a window, where I see rain starting to fall lightly onto the sidewalk. Luckily, I am near an L stop, so I won't have to walk the 2 miles home in the rain. This will get me home quicker anyway and allow time for cleaning (and of course a short nap). Today seems to be going in slow motion and I think I know why. I am anxiously awaiting my parents' arrival which will be around 4:00 this afternoon. Because my time will be consumed by exploring the city with them, you may not hear from me for a couple of days. It's time for a break from this machine anyway. This girl needs some quality time with the two people I miss the most.