Should have held your breath...

Yep, it's true. You should have held your breath for me. You should have been waiting anxiously in the shadows, knowing that I couldn't stay away for long. Knowing that I had to break free and return to this place of serenity. One thing that I've established over the past 4 days is that I cannot live without this state of mind. This mindless, yet mindful, and creative, off the wall random mess of my thoughts that I decide to throw at you whenever I'm feeling up to it. This state of mind where I feel most at home and most stable. My apology earlier was nothing more than me doubting myself; something I tend to do more than I should (yes, it falls under the "faults" category on my self-assessment). And guess what else falls under that same label? My inability to listen to my own advice. I preach about the importance of doing what makes you your happiest you. I talk about taking that one thing that makes your heart beat fast and just running with it, not looking back. Well I'm taking my love of writing, throwing it over my right shoulder, and running as fast as I can; ultimately not making it farther than the nearest Starbucks. Which is where I am sitting now, slurping down warm coffee faster than they can brew it (yes, I do realize that it's mid-afternoon and thanks for pointing that out). I've realized that this writing thing that I do is sort of an addiction. After being without a laptop for over a week, I found myself panicking and craving writing more than ever. You see, I can't just write anywhere, at any computer (although my quick post on Friday was done at my school's library; not my number one choice of an inspirational writing location)...I have to find my place where I feel the most inspired and the most like me. Whether that place is my couch overlooking my city views, a little table at a random Starbucks, or an unknown place that I've yet to discover. Regardless, I'm here and I'm ready to rock. 


Refill please.


So I've decided that the solution to my dilemma, if we can even call it that, is simply staying ahead of the game. I have managed to stay a few steps ahead of my work, a few steps ahead of my due dates, and a few steps ahead of myself. I plan on keeping it this way and sailing through another semester of my undergrad career with 4 shining stars. As long as I remain ahead, I will have time to inhale...exhale...and write. Shouldn't we all try doing this though? This staying ahead of the game method. And by the way, I don't know what "game" they are referring to in this phrase; perhaps they just mean stuff. Staying ahead of stuff. Sure, procrastination has a tendency to battle us, and sometimes it may beat us until we're dead. But I assure you, all it takes is just doing it. Just take the time and do it. And before you know it, you are left ahead of the game...or stuff. And you are able to do whatever it is that makes your little heart race. I promise. 


Oh, and don't forget about organization. This also plays a major role, working hand-in-hand with working ahead. It is crucial to keep your life organized, prioritizing different aspects that need prioritizing. This is something I live for; organization. I find joy in physically organizing something, whether it's a cluttered room, a folder full of random items, or a drawer in my bathroom. Weird? Maybe. But what I find even weirder, and perhaps you will too, is my inability to keep my mind organized 24/7. For instance, last week when I didn't think I could possibly find time to fit writing into my "crazy busy schedule", when I thought everything was going to get the best of me, when I doubted myself. Remember that? Yeah, that was a perfect example of clutter taking over my mind. And you know how I feel about clutter. With help from my mom, we got my mind organized. We sorted through the mess of school responsibilities, deciding that I tend to put way too much pressure on myself (although I may find it hard to relieve any of that pressure, as getting straight A's is something I take pride in). We prioritized personal items in my life, putting what's most important in the foreground and pushing other things aside for later. And after spending some time arranging this and that, we ended up in a familiar place. A place that I usually end up after getting my mind in order. We ended up here, where I am my strongest and happiest me. Too often I forget to take a step back and look at this place, both physically and mentally. Note to self (and to my readers): take that step back. Take a look at your current situation and appreciate it. Because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is not promised to any of us. That's my two cents for the day...and this time I will listen to my own advice. Or at least try to.