Escape from the Unknown...

My mind runs free. It runs through my present state of being, frolicking like a little girl in a field of bright yellow rapeseed. With every step, it reminds me that its okay to find this unusual happening slightly humorous and giggle at the thought of it. My mind takes no time to  mull over my whereabouts as it has been in this particular field before. Although, the flowers have never shown this passionate of a yellow; or perhaps my eyes just didn't see the forceful color during my last jaunt here. 


The definition of escape is to slip or get away from restraint. This term has not been used in reference to anything in my life; escaping was never something I found intriguing or necessary, and for this I feel fortunate. But as I skip through this field of flowers, my mind leading the way, I can't help but notice that I have done something that I never thought I would do; I escaped. Upon this realization, my body goes limp, collapsing into a puddle of thoughts and elation on the ground. No wonder the flowers are beaming, shining a light so bright they are nearly burning my vulnerable skin; they are letting me know my escape was successful. I slipped away gracefully into this new, yet somewhat explored world. My mind can't help but wonder what I've escaped from. And since there's no sense in forcing my mind to be quiet, as this is something that rarely happens, I let it think. 


The escape came quietly. It came with such a weak and soft presence that I was completely unaware of it's existence. I thought I was fine, content, happy. And I was. My progress over the last 8 months has left me feeling an unimaginable sense of pride and accomplishment, as you can clearly see in previous posts. My mind has been wandering without much purpose, unaware of what it would come across, unaware of where it would lead me. And thinking this was necessary for my happiness to come into play, or for lack of a better reason, I let it wander. I let it wander alone, in solace, from the moment the sun began to rise to the second I closed my eyes at night, and then some. The things my mind ran into while wandering were valuable to my presence, and the lessons learned are inextinguishable. My mind wandered alone, yet it smiled during the entire journey, mainly because there was no other option. Along with no other option came no stability, no sense of belonging, and no direction. My entire world was unknown, and although I nearly forced myself to believe not knowing would be okay, it simply was not. 


I quickly realize, though, that my mind was not wandering aimlessly...it was searching. Searching for this field where I now run free, the wind blowing a gentle breeze around me and the sun shining its comforting rays on my fresh face. This is a place where the past is recognized and remembered, but never dissected for flaws. This is a place where tears are dried and smiles are permanently painted. Everything is okay in this field I've found myself in. Every breath is taken with new intentions, every second passes without a single worry, and every thought of the future comes with a wave of pure joy. I am where I belong...I am home. 


Because no matter where life may take you, love always brings you home.