Just hanging there...

Sometimes I feel like I'm just hanging there. Much like an icicle hangs from its point of origin. Although I'd rather not be hanging up high, as I am extremely afraid of heights. But perhaps I'm hanging from a light post or dripping from a window sill. Call me crazy, go ahead. Do it. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing still, not physically. But not emotionally either. In some other -ally kind of way that I haven't explored yet. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the things that I aways tell myself not to get wrapped up into; stress, sadness, confusion, and the list goes on. Come to think of it...I'm not stressed (and hate when people claim their life to be stressful when it's actually not), I'm not sad (in fact I'm far from it), and I'm not confused about a damn thing. Sorry, but I'm not. See, that's the problem...sometimes the two halves of my mind just don't connect. For some reason my mind wants to think that I'm all of these negative things, and tries to make my life more complicated than it should be. But then the other half of my brain takes over and reassures my entire body that I know exactly what I need to do to be happy. In case I forget one day, and need to remind myself what I really want out of life...here's my list of wants:

• Finish my Bachelor of Arts degree...walk across that stage...and receive my diploma. (I'm getting there slowly, but surely. Graduation date: March 2012)
• Give as much attention to my family as possible. Phone calls, cards, emails, text messages. Whatever it takes...they are my number one. 
• Travel east. I will take the Amtrak to Vermont, rent a car, and make my way down the east coast, stopping whenever I feel like it, staying wherever I want to, and taking hundreds of pictures (that I will share, of course). I will end up in Washington D.C. and I will take the train home. Mark my word. 
• Volunteer where help is needed for a good portion of a year. I've always had a strong craving for making people's lives better. I just want to be selfless. 
• Fall in love. 
• Destination wedding in a beautiful country with green rolling hills in the background. Not somewhere hot or tropical. I'm thinking Scotland? 
• Make my way closer to home (after possibly living in a few random cities that I've always wanted to live in...one of which being Boston).
• Buy a cute older house that I (and hopefully husband) will fix up. It will be next to some kind of water, as this is what I grew up with and it brings me comfort. There will be a harbor nearby and we will sip coffee on our porch every day, looking at the boats. I'm thinking Traverse City...or Charlevoix. 
• Kids....eventually....maybe.
• Build a house. Nothing fancy...something cozy and comfortable. Preferably on Old Mission Peninsula in Traverse City. Wine country.

The list will continue...and it's possible that minor details could change. But that's my way of "sticking it to the man". Telling myself that I DO know what I want. There should be no confusion. No more standing still...I need to figure out what it takes to accomplish these things and go for it.